i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
