Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
