this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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