Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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