return my video game
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
