K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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