We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
