My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
