I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
