That's intense
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
