How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
