I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Randomize
