it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Pants are for mortals
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
