mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
