oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
