Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
