its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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