that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
