I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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