All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
