That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
