i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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