Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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