he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
