Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
