Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
