is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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