Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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