Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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