capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
