i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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