Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Randomize
