I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
