I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
