do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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