Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
