His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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