Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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