just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
