whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Pants are for mortals
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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