I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
