Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
