she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
