He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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