Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Randomize
