I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
