So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
