I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
