He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize