i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
