We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Someone came in the potted fern
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
