I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
