i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
